Sententia: Those we lost and those here with us

For most people when someone leaves their lives it's a big deal and they spend a lot of time wondering what went wrong and what they could have done to prevent it. That's not the case for me, I think it's a waste of time and engaging in such act brings the individual unnecessary stress. I'm not against the idea of self evaluation but spending time on people who are no longer in your life is like crying over spilled milk, and we all know how the saying goes.

Move on, a phrase we've all heard before, but if you have ever been in a situation where people have to tell you to move on then you know it's easier said than done. Moving on however is what you need to do when people leave.

Heraclitus said "change is the only constant in life." The sooner you accept this fact the better. People won't be around forever and even the best of relationships can come to an abrupt end and you have to learn to live with that.

What most people don't realise is no matter the number of people that leave, there's always someone who is there, to show love and care. It's sad that people spend so much time crying and complaing about those they lost that they neglect those that are beside them all the time. It's normal to see people crying on the shoulders of others and complaining about those who have hurt them. The sad thing is that most often than not those who provide a shoulder for other to cry on are often neglected when things are going well and such people often have no shoulder to cry on when they need it.

I've come to realise it's not really about who stays and who doesn't because in the end we'll all leave. Human beings don't live forever so it's up to you to cherish and appreciate everyone and hold every moment spent with a loved one close to your heart. When you do get the chance to make an impact in the life of someone, make sure you don't let that opportunity slide.

I know there might be some of you reading  this who have lost people not because they chose to walk out of your lives but because they passed away and you think no one can ever replace them. I've been there, I've felt that way before. My mum passed away when I was ten years old. I feel I  didn't only lose my mum because a lot of people disappeared from my life, there are even family members I haven't seen since that time but that's a story for another time. My point is with all the losses came a couple of people I count as gains. They can never replace my mum but they were there to comfort me, teach me lessons and helped shape my life.

I'm not asking you to forget or replace those you've  lost or even those who willingly walked out of your life, what I'm asking is for you to wipe your tears so you can see and appreciate those who are still there for you and show them the love and care that they deserve.